Ironically Yours: Cold Case
A couple of people have asked me why I only blog about commercial auditions as opposed to my film or theatre auditions. Well, my feeling is that commercial auditions are *much* more interesting and funnEH to blog about, since they are usually last minute events that require you to do the ridiculous and unexpected. There is nothing you can do to prep for a commercial audition - you just have to be on your toes and ready for anything. *cough*pio!*cough*
Auditions for Film, Television and Theatre (in New York we call them "legit" -- here in Los Angeles they call it "Theatrical", which are both highly ironic terms if you ask me....) are a little more reliable in what you can expect from them. You get the script ("sides") a few days before your appointment, (well, hopefully), you prepare them, and then you go in and do your best. The majority of the time, the audition is "whenever you're ready....", a read through and then maybe a redirect -- or a "thank you!". Rarely are you thrown an extreme curveball.
Though there *was* the time I read for a film back in NYC, and prepared the sides, and when I got there they said "oh, can you do it in a Russian accent please?" and then said, "Oh and also can you make it so she's on the toilet finishing up a piss at the top of the scene".
*blink*
And in February of this year I got a call from my manager - the casting director had apparently been searching for me on the recommendation of a director she knew - she wanted me to come in and read for the lead in "Kitchen Confidential"... I got the call at 4:30pm and my audition was at 6pm... in the valley. During rush hour the valley is an hour and a half to two hours from my house....
So there I was, on the phone with my manager, dripping wet from a shower, standing in front of my closet while she read me the breakdown of the character so I could choose clothes that were appropriate. Vinny drove me to the audition so I could put on makeup in the car and look at the script on the way - ulcer gulch, man.
But for the most part it's standard, get the sides, prepare the sides, read them for casting director, go home and try and forget it ever happened.
Every casting office is different. They run things differently, they prefer things *their* way and there is no hard and fast rule as to what to expect. Last week I auditioned for a "co-star poossible guest star" on the show "Cold Case" - and this office cracked me up because they have signs posted EVERYWHERE telling you that they have no bathrooms. They have to do this because of union rules. They have no bathrooms because the offices are on the Warner Brothers lot in "Warner Village" which looks like Wisteria Lane from Desperate Housewives. (All the lots are surreal in some kind of way - one time when I was at Disney, the commissary was full of pirates, and Victor Garber biked by me on his way to the Alias set.)
Anyway, the holding area for actors for "Cold Case" is in what would be the garage of this beautiful house. No bathroom. And what's next to the door when you first walk in? A water cooler. Is it me or is that just plain mean? As they move down the list of people to audition, they bring 3 at a time outside and upstairs to the casting room. As we sat there waiting for our turn to read, we heard a familiar sound - the flush of a toilet. The girl next to me turned to me and said "Oh, now they are just MOCKING us!" and it cracked me up.
They only brought 5 of us back to producers and she was one of the 5, which was actually cool, because she was funny and chatty and we had a great time. The 5 of us couldn't have been MORE different in the way we looked, which I think also makes it easier for all of us to be less stressed about the callback - it was going to come down to the "look" they wanted, and there's nothing you can do about the color of your skin and hair -- so you just do your best. Something like this can also come down to who else they have cast -- A casting director for another major show on CBS told me that if you look too much like another character that week, they won't hire you -- the network feels that it "confuses" the audience.
I did not book it - and frankly I was surprised I got to producers due to a line in the script that wouldn't make sense if they cast me (hint - olive skin), but people who read my blog may be interested -- and dare i say it -- HAPPY -- to hear that the BOBA BAR WAS OPEN!!!! I was able to enjoy a boba in-between my audition in the morning and the producer session that evening. It's the little things in life. Little tapioca bead things.
Auditions for Film, Television and Theatre (in New York we call them "legit" -- here in Los Angeles they call it "Theatrical", which are both highly ironic terms if you ask me....) are a little more reliable in what you can expect from them. You get the script ("sides") a few days before your appointment, (well, hopefully), you prepare them, and then you go in and do your best. The majority of the time, the audition is "whenever you're ready....", a read through and then maybe a redirect -- or a "thank you!". Rarely are you thrown an extreme curveball.
Though there *was* the time I read for a film back in NYC, and prepared the sides, and when I got there they said "oh, can you do it in a Russian accent please?" and then said, "Oh and also can you make it so she's on the toilet finishing up a piss at the top of the scene".
*blink*
And in February of this year I got a call from my manager - the casting director had apparently been searching for me on the recommendation of a director she knew - she wanted me to come in and read for the lead in "Kitchen Confidential"... I got the call at 4:30pm and my audition was at 6pm... in the valley. During rush hour the valley is an hour and a half to two hours from my house....
So there I was, on the phone with my manager, dripping wet from a shower, standing in front of my closet while she read me the breakdown of the character so I could choose clothes that were appropriate. Vinny drove me to the audition so I could put on makeup in the car and look at the script on the way - ulcer gulch, man.
But for the most part it's standard, get the sides, prepare the sides, read them for casting director, go home and try and forget it ever happened.
Every casting office is different. They run things differently, they prefer things *their* way and there is no hard and fast rule as to what to expect. Last week I auditioned for a "co-star poossible guest star" on the show "Cold Case" - and this office cracked me up because they have signs posted EVERYWHERE telling you that they have no bathrooms. They have to do this because of union rules. They have no bathrooms because the offices are on the Warner Brothers lot in "Warner Village" which looks like Wisteria Lane from Desperate Housewives. (All the lots are surreal in some kind of way - one time when I was at Disney, the commissary was full of pirates, and Victor Garber biked by me on his way to the Alias set.)
Anyway, the holding area for actors for "Cold Case" is in what would be the garage of this beautiful house. No bathroom. And what's next to the door when you first walk in? A water cooler. Is it me or is that just plain mean? As they move down the list of people to audition, they bring 3 at a time outside and upstairs to the casting room. As we sat there waiting for our turn to read, we heard a familiar sound - the flush of a toilet. The girl next to me turned to me and said "Oh, now they are just MOCKING us!" and it cracked me up.
They only brought 5 of us back to producers and she was one of the 5, which was actually cool, because she was funny and chatty and we had a great time. The 5 of us couldn't have been MORE different in the way we looked, which I think also makes it easier for all of us to be less stressed about the callback - it was going to come down to the "look" they wanted, and there's nothing you can do about the color of your skin and hair -- so you just do your best. Something like this can also come down to who else they have cast -- A casting director for another major show on CBS told me that if you look too much like another character that week, they won't hire you -- the network feels that it "confuses" the audience.
I did not book it - and frankly I was surprised I got to producers due to a line in the script that wouldn't make sense if they cast me (hint - olive skin), but people who read my blog may be interested -- and dare i say it -- HAPPY -- to hear that the BOBA BAR WAS OPEN!!!! I was able to enjoy a boba in-between my audition in the morning and the producer session that evening. It's the little things in life. Little tapioca bead things.
posted by The Dancing Kids at 6:57 AM
9 Comments:
Well, to be fair, I understand where they're coming from re:lookalike characters...
I mean, I watched "The Thin Red Line" and, after an hour and a half, I *still* had no idea how many main characters there were, or who was in each scene, since they were all late 20's, brunette men with dirt on their faces... ;)
I don't see you as a Cold Case, though. Maybe a murderous cocktail waitress on CSI?
You should at least tell us when you get "theatrical" jobs. We can watch for you.
Us, your legions of adoring fans.
BTW, I took the extra chocolates to DC (you know that silly poker thing - though, to be honest, there weren't many left). Those people? When I told them they were genuine YumYum candies?
Started drooling and fighting over pieces. It was freaking crazy. Ok, so no bar fights broke out persay, but you should have seen those eye light up.
oh awwwwweeeessome. Behold the power of tiny bits of home made toffee smothered in good quality white chocolate! :)
though i am a little sad about the no fighting. Those would have been awesome flickr pics.
I guess I would be one of the faceless legion of fans. I don't really know Ms. Rutherford personally, but I check this lovely blog pretty regularly just to see what she's up to. I was just a big fan of her performance/participation in the beekeeping business last year, and she's pretty damn funny at times on here.
So yeah.... I second the request for telling us when you get "theatrical" jobs. I have a lot of time to read blogs here at work, and Kristen's.... I mean Your... blog is one I find the most interesting.
So... um... I never quite got why there were no bathrooms... Sounds like a very odd union that doesn't permit bathroom usage.
*blush*
hurrah for funnEH!
sorry for the confusion on the union thing -- what i mean is that the union states that they HAVE to alert the actors that there is no bathroom available for their use.
Union rules are pretty strict about "conditions" - even in an audition -- for instance, when you come in, you sign in on a sheet that SAG provides, and when you leave, you are supposed to sign out - because if they keep you longer than a certain amount of time, you will get compensation.
I've never worked with SAG, but I used to work with a lot of Equity actors, and some of the rules were quite interesting.
For example, while I understand and heartily approve of the required break schedule, the fact that there is a rule saying that an Equity stage manager can have no part in the management, calculation, or distribution of payroll baffles me...
And don't even get me started on IATSE...
The seventh circle of hell is a 24-hour boba bar which has signs conspicuously posted everywhere that say "NO BATHROOM AVAILABLE".
Bubble tea is like 2417 kinds of awesome, and would make any sane person's day a bajillion, nay, a bazillion times better.
An insane person? Well, there's just no telling how much for the better a good bubble tea will change your day.
So everyone's in luck!
Cute story. They aren't doing Cold Case auditions in a garage at Warner Village anymore... They have an office nearby -it looks like one of those temporary classroom trailers -with a bathroom & everything.
Same thing happened to me -I went to producers on the same day as the first call, and they went another way. I didn't mind. It was a good experience, and I appreciated their professionalism.
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