Blog, much?

Oh gosh, yeah, I've been meaning to TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT, but, you know, I just go so ... busy. You know how it is. You forgive me, don't you?

*doesn't wait for answer and plows on*

Much as I would like to give you the gory details, I know that the powers that be are *sensitive* when it comes to pilot presentations and their content. My vague review is that the attitude on the set was easygoing and fun - I can't say enough nice things about the executive producers and I especially can't say enough lovely things about Tony Goldwyn as a director. He takes very good care of his actors and creates a safe place. I think that's high praise.

What I *do* want to write about are make-up artists and how amazing they are.

It's always been my experience that when you are first introduced to the make up artist, they greet you in a very warm and friendly manner - but there is something odd about the meeting that you can't quite place - and then you realize that they aren't taking you in as a whole or a person, really - they are looking at you in parts, at what they want to do with you, or what they'll have to do with you. You are a job, they are professionals, and they are sizing up the job. It's not a bad thing, they aren't being mean, they just have a job to do. It just takes getting used to. Once it all clicks into place, you are a person again and they are lovely and chatty - the really good ones make you feel amazing about yourself. Even when they are painting blood or pasting scars on you.

I never understood why people would pay so much money for a haircut by a celebrity stylist. Then I did a modeling job where Oribe did my hair. When we were introduced, he stalked up to me with confidence, shook my hand, began to run his hands through my hair as he stared me straight in the eyes and started to tell me what he was going to do to my hair and how beautiful it was going to make me look and what features of my face were going to stand out and and and... I don't know - it was like he was hypnotizing me - I just kind of remember bending my head back slightly, [side note - i do NOT like people a) touching me or b) playing with my hair - i was never one of those 'oh! braid my hair' girls...], listening to him and feeling like when he was done, I was going to be the most gorgeous woman in the world. It was a seduction.

Then the Producer said "okay Oribe, so we are going to go drastic in length with a sort of shag with a flip" and I snapped out of the reverie with a OH NO. NO NO NO. NUH UH. ORIBE SAID NO SUCH WORDS LIKE "DRASTIC" "SHAG" or "FLIP" AW HELLZ NO.

That was a great haircut. The job was on Halloween - and I didn't have to get my hair cut again until the August after that. It was long, yeah, but it never got straggly. It still had a great shape.

My point is, the good ones do a kind of hypnosis like that, where they make you feel comfortable and ready to go in front of the camera.

I took some pictures to try and capture the difference between before and after.

Here is the first one:



I was taking this picture for my parents - to show them my cute trailer in the honey wagon. Had I known I was going to do a Slate entry on The Wonderful World Of Make-Up, I would have done a close up - because I had the mamma jamma of all zits on my chin. The make up artist put on the make up equivalent of a miner's cap and basically gave me a mini facial. When she was done, she put tea tree oil on the monstrosity, and then sprayed it with some kind of acrylic or vinyl or i-don't-know-what kind of covering to seal the medicine in so she could put make up on it. I would like her to come and live at my house.

Here is me after make up.



The scene takes place in the middle of the night - so the character had "no make up on" - She airbrushed a little foundation on me, some concealer, liquid blush (which i promptly went out and bought for myself the next day) and a tiny bit of lip balm. No eye make up. Farewell giant second head on my chin.

This picture makes me laugh. I think it should be titled, "Wow, Italian, much?"

Here is me with my costume on:



Okay so.

The next time I shot - was a big sobby sobby cry cry meaty scene. No zits, thank goodness, so no reconstructive surgery.

I got a double bumper trailer! Say it with me - swaannnkkky. Here I am sitting in the swank wearing no make up.



I've been told that I am one of the rare actresses who show up to a set "clean". The first thing they always ask you is "Are you wearing any make-up?" and I always say, "no". Then they put make up remover on a tissue and wipe my face. No kidding, 90% of the time they say, "Oh, gosh, you really aren't wearing any make up!!!". I just don't understand why someone would think they could get away with saying "no" to a make up artist. Maybe I'm just lazy - why would I bother putting make up on when they are just going to take it off when I get there? That's time I could be sleeping or eating cookies.

First Layer:



I'm not wearing any mascara, lipstick or blush. Just foundation and eyeliner. The hair stylist sprayed my hair out of my face in what she called a "90's Melrose Place 'do" so that they could do my make up - I have hours until I am on the set, and so they wanted to wait until the 2nd AD was close to calling me. DAPHNEZUNIGA'D

there's a lot of waiting around.



Just before I am called to set, they bring me back in and put on mascara and blush. I have so much mascara on that it looks like I have fake eyelashes, and the blush as well as the lipstick is shaded very carefully - like you would if you were doing a pencil drawing. The most amazing part was that she painted around my eyes and around my nostrils with red to make it look as if I had been crying all day already. I tried and tried and tried to capture it on camera - but you really can't see it - It's an effect meant for film - and even though my camera is 10.1 megapixels it still couldn't capture how subtle and real it looked.



Let us review:

Make up people can do anything. When you see people looking all beautiful and heavenly on your glowy box, don't get down about yourself - remember that there is an entire team of people behind them to make them look that way. Stay in school. Don't do drugs. Have a sandwich.

Now that I've imparted that major life lesson to you, let me say this:

Famke Janssen is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my entire life. You know how some people look really good on camera but not in real life. Yeah, no, she's not one of them. She looks good in real life too.

I don't know about you, but for me, when I see a famous person, someone that I am used to seeing in media of any sort, I have this reaction that is kind of like the opposite of being at a wake. When I am at a wake, (Catholic, much?), I get fixated on the body of the deceased - specifically on the fact that the chest isn't rising and falling with breath. That is what freaks.my.shit.out. When I see a famous person, it's their 3 dimensionality that wigs me out - ZOMG SHE IS BREATHING!

Add to that the fact that Famke has the beauty tractor beam. I spent hours with her, and my head and neck hurt from fighting the pull of the tractor beam. It was all I could do to fight the urge to just turn and stare at her. With my mouth gaping open. She is that pretty. THEY SHOULD HAVE SENT A POET. THEY. SHOULD. HAVE. SENT. A. POET.