I am ... I said
L.A.'s fine/ the sun shines most've the time/and the feeling is laid back/Palm trees grow/and rents are low/But you know keep thinkin' bout/makin' my way back...
Oh yes I did. I just quoted NEIL FUCKING DIAMOND. What? He's the JEWISH ELVIS! Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies and everyone goes, cause everyone knowwwws...
wait, why was I quoting Neil Diamond again? I got distracted looking for my Hot August Night CD.
Oh yeah - cause next week? I am going back to NEW YORK CITY.
I grew up in Washington D.C. but New York is my HOME.
I cannot yell WOOOO loud enough.
I am going to spend time with friends and family, celebrate my cousin's graduation from college, and get drunk on pizza and bagels. I am going to sit in the garden at the Frick Collection and pretend it is my residence. I am going to hail cabs, read on subways and see the sights. You know, important historical sights like Pearl River Department Store, ABC Carpet and Home, Ricky's drug store (Because looking good is better than feeling good), C.O. Bigelow's, Zabars and Bergdorfs. Oh, did you think I was talking about an history other than my own? You must be a first time reader. Welcome!
I had all kinds of unbridled eating plans - but there's been a little snag. As it turns out, I will be shooting new headshots while I am there with one of my all time favorite photographers. This all came about in a strange way.
My contracts came up for renewal at my agency.
0_o
Now, as far as legit/theatrically goes, we are doing fine. In fact, I just went to producers for a guest starring role on a show that is currently filming in NY - I was so utterly right for the part that it was spooky, and it really pleased me that my agent knew me well enough to understand JUST how right I was for the role to push me for it. (Sadly, I didn't book it. *insert flintstones failure sound here*)
However, remember back in September when we had our big meeting about my commercial auditions or lack thereof, and how we were going to try a different tack? Still not jumping as much as I think it should be.
So once again, I go into the office to say, " I think I need to move on." Totally heartbreaking since I actually LIKE my agents. But, I am going to stick to my guns and move on commercially and see if we can stay together theatrically.
In my experience, as well as the experience of most everyone I know that is an actor, when you go into an agent's office and say " I think I need to move on..." they say, "No problem! Love ya baby! You are the greatest! We'll miss you around these parts and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!" Not me. I go in there and once again, he tells me that of course I can go if I want to go, but he really would rather have me stay, because he believes in me and my talent. He is convinced that it is my pictures.
He calls LA casting, which is the major commercial website that casting directors and agents use for submissions, and gets my stats. In the last year they have submitted me 1800 times. How many appointments have I gotten? NINE. It's hard to argue with those numbers. It's the pictures.
Remember when I said I was going to stick to my guns? Well I had an achilles heel. I hate my pictures. I loved them when I first got them, but slowly I have grown to hate them - and have had confirmation from SEVERAL casting people who agree with me. They are bland and lack personality, and the way I was lit washes my skin tone out. This is a crucial issue when it comes to commercials - I look pale and white on the casting website - and anyone who has met me in person knows that I am olive skinned and tan even in the winter. When we shot, they had me stay totally still - and I think that is part of the problem and why they seem *bland*. I mean, have you MET me? Spazariffic! Represent!
They offered me this deal - sign a mini contract commercially - say 6-8 months (as opposed to 2 years) with the understanding that I will get new pictures and we will see how that pans out, and if it doesn't change things, then we shake hands and move on.
I thought about it, and you know what? How often do you get lucky enough in this business to have an agent who really believes in you? So much so that they don't want you to leave them? I have tons of leads for interviews at other agencies, but I run the risk of signing with a new agent, having auditions for a month - and if I don't book anything straight out of the gate - I am left to rot on the roster. I'm old enough to know that 6 months is a drop in the bucket compared to the span of a lifetime. Plus, there are other, personal things going on with me that I have to take into consideration as far as moving on to a new agent goes. More on that later. Perhaps.
I started looking for a photographer here in L.A. - and most of them were booked up until July -- and then I thought - wait - when I first moved here, I was getting great commercial auditions from my old NY black and white photo -- even in this LA world of color! So I emailed my photographer from NY and asked if by some remote chance she had any time for a session. Doubtful, since she is incredibly talented and booked up VERY far in advance - and lo and behold, she got back to me immediately, and she DID have an opening!
So here we go again, but this time I am back on my turf.
Afterwards I am meeting up with my group of friends - the women that I miss every day while living here in Los Angeles. We'll have a chance to catch up, a good dose of China-Latina food, a lot of raunchy talk, as well as belly laughs, and I'm sure the phrase "I FUCK THE CINEMA" will be exclaimed at high decibel levels at random intervals, much to the chagrin of the other patrons of La Caridad. (It's hard to explain, but believe it or not, it's actually a quote from Jean-Pierre Jeunet)
The clock starts ticking when I get back to Los Angeles.
I am really excited.
Did you ever read a story about a frog who dreamed of being a king/and then became one/ Well except for the names and a few other changes/ if you talk about me/ the story's the same one...
no wait, that makes no sense....
um
Shilo when I was young I used to ...
*cough* no
You're so sweet/Horseflies keep hangin' round your face/ Kentucky Moonshine could never take your...
...well, okay, there is really no good Neil Diamond quote that I can use to wrap this up with.
So what? I am going HOME!
I FUCK THE CINEMA
Oh yes I did. I just quoted NEIL FUCKING DIAMOND. What? He's the JEWISH ELVIS! Pack up the babies and grab the old ladies and everyone goes, cause everyone knowwwws...
wait, why was I quoting Neil Diamond again? I got distracted looking for my Hot August Night CD.
Oh yeah - cause next week? I am going back to NEW YORK CITY.
I grew up in Washington D.C. but New York is my HOME.
I cannot yell WOOOO loud enough.
I am going to spend time with friends and family, celebrate my cousin's graduation from college, and get drunk on pizza and bagels. I am going to sit in the garden at the Frick Collection and pretend it is my residence. I am going to hail cabs, read on subways and see the sights. You know, important historical sights like Pearl River Department Store, ABC Carpet and Home, Ricky's drug store (Because looking good is better than feeling good), C.O. Bigelow's, Zabars and Bergdorfs. Oh, did you think I was talking about an history other than my own? You must be a first time reader. Welcome!
I had all kinds of unbridled eating plans - but there's been a little snag. As it turns out, I will be shooting new headshots while I am there with one of my all time favorite photographers. This all came about in a strange way.
My contracts came up for renewal at my agency.
0_o
Now, as far as legit/theatrically goes, we are doing fine. In fact, I just went to producers for a guest starring role on a show that is currently filming in NY - I was so utterly right for the part that it was spooky, and it really pleased me that my agent knew me well enough to understand JUST how right I was for the role to push me for it. (Sadly, I didn't book it. *insert flintstones failure sound here*)
However, remember back in September when we had our big meeting about my commercial auditions or lack thereof, and how we were going to try a different tack? Still not jumping as much as I think it should be.
So once again, I go into the office to say, " I think I need to move on." Totally heartbreaking since I actually LIKE my agents. But, I am going to stick to my guns and move on commercially and see if we can stay together theatrically.
In my experience, as well as the experience of most everyone I know that is an actor, when you go into an agent's office and say " I think I need to move on..." they say, "No problem! Love ya baby! You are the greatest! We'll miss you around these parts and don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!" Not me. I go in there and once again, he tells me that of course I can go if I want to go, but he really would rather have me stay, because he believes in me and my talent. He is convinced that it is my pictures.
He calls LA casting, which is the major commercial website that casting directors and agents use for submissions, and gets my stats. In the last year they have submitted me 1800 times. How many appointments have I gotten? NINE. It's hard to argue with those numbers. It's the pictures.
Remember when I said I was going to stick to my guns? Well I had an achilles heel. I hate my pictures. I loved them when I first got them, but slowly I have grown to hate them - and have had confirmation from SEVERAL casting people who agree with me. They are bland and lack personality, and the way I was lit washes my skin tone out. This is a crucial issue when it comes to commercials - I look pale and white on the casting website - and anyone who has met me in person knows that I am olive skinned and tan even in the winter. When we shot, they had me stay totally still - and I think that is part of the problem and why they seem *bland*. I mean, have you MET me? Spazariffic! Represent!
They offered me this deal - sign a mini contract commercially - say 6-8 months (as opposed to 2 years) with the understanding that I will get new pictures and we will see how that pans out, and if it doesn't change things, then we shake hands and move on.
I thought about it, and you know what? How often do you get lucky enough in this business to have an agent who really believes in you? So much so that they don't want you to leave them? I have tons of leads for interviews at other agencies, but I run the risk of signing with a new agent, having auditions for a month - and if I don't book anything straight out of the gate - I am left to rot on the roster. I'm old enough to know that 6 months is a drop in the bucket compared to the span of a lifetime. Plus, there are other, personal things going on with me that I have to take into consideration as far as moving on to a new agent goes. More on that later. Perhaps.
I started looking for a photographer here in L.A. - and most of them were booked up until July -- and then I thought - wait - when I first moved here, I was getting great commercial auditions from my old NY black and white photo -- even in this LA world of color! So I emailed my photographer from NY and asked if by some remote chance she had any time for a session. Doubtful, since she is incredibly talented and booked up VERY far in advance - and lo and behold, she got back to me immediately, and she DID have an opening!
So here we go again, but this time I am back on my turf.
Afterwards I am meeting up with my group of friends - the women that I miss every day while living here in Los Angeles. We'll have a chance to catch up, a good dose of China-Latina food, a lot of raunchy talk, as well as belly laughs, and I'm sure the phrase "I FUCK THE CINEMA" will be exclaimed at high decibel levels at random intervals, much to the chagrin of the other patrons of La Caridad. (It's hard to explain, but believe it or not, it's actually a quote from Jean-Pierre Jeunet)
The clock starts ticking when I get back to Los Angeles.
I am really excited.
Did you ever read a story about a frog who dreamed of being a king/and then became one/ Well except for the names and a few other changes/ if you talk about me/ the story's the same one...
no wait, that makes no sense....
um
Shilo when I was young I used to ...
*cough* no
You're so sweet/Horseflies keep hangin' round your face/ Kentucky Moonshine could never take your...
...well, okay, there is really no good Neil Diamond quote that I can use to wrap this up with.
So what? I am going HOME!
I FUCK THE CINEMA
posted by Oh. It's Kristen Again. *sigh* at 11:57 PM
4 Comments:
And home's the most excellent place of all.
Good choice, methinks.
Have a loverly time at the point of origin.
- MPG
You may be pleased to know that you have angered me greatly. Very greatly. I now have an ill-memorized "la la la la la la la something la la salvation show" stuck in my brain as from a nail gun. And since I haven't actually heard the song in years, I recall only the aforementioned strain and your line about babies and old ladies. And those 17 seconds of tune are played o'er and o'er as if the repeat button were superglued to the "drive phieferboy crazy" setting, a setting which only the repeat button in my brain has. I hope you're happy. =)
There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like home.
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